"Nasil mi ogrendim? Ona yalan soyluyordum.
Kasim. Ders calisma iznindeydim. Son sinif ogrencilerine sinavlardan iki hafta once evde kalip sinava hazirlanma izni verilirdi. Bir arkadasin evinde ders calisacagimizi soyleyip sinemaya tuyuyordum. Bizleri ancak bir yildan bu yana sinemalara almaya baslamislardi; boylece cifte ozgurlugun tadini cikariyordum: dersi asmak ve Beyazlarin oturdugu bir banliyonun sinemasindaki kahverengi suni kadife koltukta oturabilmek. Babam pek varlikli degildi ama annemle babam, kiz kardesimle benim gencligimizi kendilerininki gibi parasizlik yuzunden heder etmek istemiyorlardi; bana verdikleri harclik, o gunlerdeki SIKISIKLIKLARININ elverdiginden cok fazlaydi. Yeni acilan kultur merkezindeki sinemalardan birinin bes matinesine girmek icin fuayede bekliyordum.
Tam o sirada, bir baska sinemanin bir onceki matinesinden babam ve bir kadin cikti. Babam karsimdaydi; birbirimizi gordugumuz anda, o beni degil, ben onu yakalamis oldum. Insanlar aramizdan gelip gecerken biz oylece durduk. Sonra babam, yanindaki kadinla birlikte, sinemanin karanligindan isigina cikanlarin goz kamasikligi icinde yanıma geldi.
Hannah’i hatırladin, degil mi, dedi. Kadin da, bakislarimi babamdan kendisine cevirmem icin ister istemez gulumsedi –cunku yanaklarimi kasan, ensemden yukariya soguk su yuruyormus duygusu veren sorular, yanitlar, kavrayislar, safdillik ve dus kirikligiyla yuklu bakislarimi babamdan ayiramiyordum– tabii tanisiyoruz, ben Hannah Plowman, dedi..." Nadine Gordime, Oglumun Oykusu
How did I find out? I was deceiving him.
November. I was on study leave — for two weeks before the exams pupils in the senior classes were allowed to stay home to prepare themselves. I would say I was going to work with a friend at a friend's house, and then I'd slip off to a cinema. Cinemas had been open to us only a year or so; it was a double freedom I took: to bunk study and to sit in the maroon nylon velvet seat of a cinema in a suburb where whites live. My father was not well off but my parents wanted my sister and me to have a youth less stunted by the limits of an empty pocket than they had had, and my pocket-money was more generous than their precarious position, at the time, warranted. So I was in the foyer waiting to get into a five o'clock performance at one of the cinemas in a new complex and my father and a woman came out of the earlier performance in another.
There was my father; the moment we saw one another it was I who had discovered him, not he me. We stood there while other people crossed our line of vision. Then he came towards me with her in the dazed way people emerge from the dark of a cinema to daylight.
He said, You remember Hannah, don't you — And she prompted with a twitching smile to draw my gaze from him — for I was concentrating on him the great rush of questions, answers, realizations, credulity and dismay which stiffened my cheeks and gave the sensation of cold water rising up my neck — she prompted, Hannah Plowman, of course we know each other..."
Alıntı yaparak yanıtla
Yer İmleri